Omg Zhen ‘Ai, where can you find such good friend hur? (I’ve repeated this for god knows how many times.)

This girl smsed me at 10.12PM wanting to meet me at Tiong.

Zhen ‘ai @ 10.12PM: Eh free to meet at tiong?

Me: Now?

Zhen ‘ai @ 10.14PM: Eh… Later? Haha. I now at tampiness.

Me: At macs? Call me when you reached bugis.

Zhen ‘ai @ 10.16PM: Yeah… K.. See ya…

*after some time*

Zhen ‘ai @ 11.03PM: Im at lavender liao… U can start leaving your place.

Zomg pls. I reached Tiong at 11.30PM. And I checked the timing for the last train and it was at 12AM. So pathetic please. What can we do for 30 mins? So I decided to stay beyond 12AM believing that there will still be bus as it normally operates until quite late like about 12 plus. So we left Macs at 12.20AM and I walked towards the bus stop and quickly headed for the bus directory and bloody hell. I can’t bleeding Adam and Eve that I missed the last bus! AHHHH… Because the last bus was at 11.53PM! : ( So terrible.

I was left with no choice but to take a cab back home because I didn’t want to call my father to fetch. Before I went out, he already gave me a lecture on how late it was and I shouldn’t go out. And so he would definitely say, “See I told you. You must manage your own time well. Blah blah blah”, if I had called him. Save my ears from the music and save my own pride, I’d rather take a cab.

I tell you, my blood vessels could have burst just looking at the meter. And goodness, the red lights just kept coming on at every 100m (sarcasm, get it?). So I guess the uncle must have been very happy. Naaaabei… The taxi fare came up to $6.60 which could have been $0.68 if I had left Tiong 20 mins earlier. 10 times more! Wtf… So I kept telling myself, that’s the price of a fast food meal. If I could just stop eating out for even just 1 meal, that would make up for it. What to do huh, what. to . do? What a great friend you have here Zhen ‘ai (how many times already?), must remember me for the rest of your life hor.

——-

Oh yea. I haven’t mentioned anything about my GEMs, have I? Just FYI, I am taking this GEMs called Accent and Slang. It teaches us about the different kinds of accent and slang in the world. And until now, we have learnt about Singlish and British’s Receive Pronunciation, Estuary English and this week’s lesson- Cockney accent and slang.

In my opinion, Cockney english is just like Singlish or even worse. The slangs used in their english is terrible because it makes no sense at all (except some of the english words rhyme with the slang). But that’s what makes it quite hilarious… and dumb.

I’ll quote you some examples that I’ve copied down from the website the teacher gave us.

English- Slang

Menstrual Cycle- George Michael
Fuck off- Vincent Van Gogh
Wanker- Oil Tanker
Gym- Fat Boy Slim
Prostitue- Brass Flute
Bitches- Ronald Riches

So while browsing through the slangs in the website, he told us to form an offensive sentence with the slangs and a greeting sentence. So as you know, I am quite vulgar, hahaha, and therefore my sentence was: Your Lolly Lick is so small that you use a macaroni for an Ann Frank.

Basically, Lolly Lick stands for Dick and Ann Frank stands for Wank. Get it now? Hahahaha. And refering back to the bleeding Adam and Eve, it stands for believe. I.e. Bleeding and Eve if you add them together is sounds a bit like believe hence, the word!

That’s it. For your entertainment purposes. The website forCockney Slang.